Would the real Joaquin please stand up?

Due to a lack of fodder about Joaquin's recent activity, we have decided to spotlight others with Mr. Phoenix's first name in order to better understand the burden that comes with his great moniker.
Joaquin Gonzalez is a former professional football player for the Cleveland Browns and Indianapolis Colts. He also played college football for the Miami Hurricanes. Even from the little information gleaned about Mr. Gonzalez (thanks, Wikipedia), we can still gain some insight into the trials of having the name "Joaquin":

1. Those with the name "Joaquin" have a hard time with commitment. Obviously this is true, since Mr. Gonzalez did not play for the same team for his entire athletic career. The Browns, the Colts and the Hurricanes? If he liked it, he would have put a ring on it! Mr. Phoenix was also not committed to one type of acting role. I'm sure he could have had a franchise like Chuck Norris or Sylvester Stallone, but was too afraid to commit to a specific character type.

2. Those with the name "Joaquin" are versatile. [See the above argument, but instead of concluding that Joaquins are afraid of commitment, conclude that they are adaptable to many working environments.]

3. Those with the name "Joaquin" are not in the same profession that they became famous for. Mr. Gonzalez no longer plays football, Mr. Phoenix no longer acts. Enough said.

For now, this is as much as we know about the correlations between those named Joaquin. We hope you have read this and feel enlightened. Because we do.