Justice League goes Hip Hop

During this current national recession, times are hard for everyone. Automakers, realtors, Alaskan governors and Bernie Madoff's entire staff have all been adversely affected by the economic downturn. Yet one demographic that has been overlooked is that of the American superhero.

However, in a bizarre twist of events, the new caped crusader on the streets of L.A. is quite possibly Joaquin Phoenix. Perhaps he noticed the lack of heroes around town and as a responsible citizen, took matters into his own hands.

Recently, Mr. Phoenix was spotted at a clothing store trying on black trousers, a mesh shirt and...a velvet cape! While changing into his new get-up, he began rapping some wicked new beats. Upon leaving the dressing room, still in his mesh shirt and caped attire, he told the sales associate that he would be paying with "MONEY!" After paying with a wad of cash, he left the store in a hurry and dumped his old clothes into the nearest dumpster.

There are still many questions about this recent development in Joaquin's constantly changing career. What is his superhero alias? MC Here-OH Lose Ur Mind? Who exactly was he rushing to save in his velvet cape? Was he growing his beard out so he could save money on a mask? Did he buy the mesh shirt with or without straps? Will other musicians follow his lead to save the world?

So maybe, in your time of greatest need, you will see a bearded man in a mesh shirt and velvet cape come to your rescue. Or buying heroin from the guy on the corner.